2012: An Empty Canvas

Art's always been a big part of my life. No question about that. For as long as I can remember I found such happiness in putting a pencil to paper and seeing what my imagination would come up with. I don't consider myself a "good" artist, but I consider myself a passionate one. There's just a peace of mine that overtakes me when I draw; well, more like when I drew. To be honest, I don't do much of that anymore. Mainly because of the fact that the convenient resource of papers and pencils/pens aren't around and at my disposal as much as they once were, but also because the drive of my imagination has transformed over the years. Growing up, drawing was really my only way of expressing and exercising my imagination and creativity, but nowadays I do other things. Even the word "artist" has transformed in my world; I don't just see pencil and paper, but now I see pictures, cameras, instruments, CDs, lights, etc. I once considered myself an artist. I once considered myself a musician. Those things are present in my life still, but in a less prominent way. The whole being versatile thing has been the course of my life; it's also turned out to be one of my greatest weaknesses. Sure, I can draw, sing, act, play piano/bass/xylophone/triangle/guitar, film, direct, and whatever else I do, but I can't say I'm completely all about one specific thing. That's what's lead me to this very moment. I was supposed to do two years of study at the Hillsong International Leadership College; I've done exactly that, but now I'm returning for another year. Guess two years wasn't enough for me to get the big picture. But... this could very well be the year. That's why I'm looking at this year as an empty canvas. I am looking at this canvas through the eyes of my inner child, a simple artist. I might not have a lot of expertise and skill with a pencil or brush, but I know someone who was skilled enough to paint the stars, draw out oceans, brush in mountains, and throw in over 7 billion people into this masterpiece called our universe (and sure, maybe there is a galaxy far, far away with more lifeforms celebrating the demise of the Dark Side, but who really knows. Maybe Lucas was on to something...) I am confident in the fact that when I'm unsure of touching my pencil to the canvas, I have the one true artist to guide my hand and help me create something beautiful, something to remember. Something worth living for. There's been a lot of challenges in my journey as a college student, and a couple are still a challenge even as I type. Through it all, it's been one thing that's kept me going: the one true artist. Without Him, I would have been lost a long time ago. So this year, I'm living on purpose. This year, I'm not holding back because of insecurities or past failures. This year, I will realize my full potential, and in His name I will go where He sends me.

To be honest, it feels good to be on this blog of mine again; it's been too long. Here's to hopefully making this a part of my life too (just not every day, because that was borderline stressful on me. I'm very big on continuity.)

- Steven (Psalm 37:4)