Packing Season

So I've got a couple days before I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again (always wanted to use that somewhere), and packing is the last thing on my mind. I'm in a position where I'm going to need to filter through my stuff, getting rid of the things I don't need and placing new stuff in; I did a little filtering before I came back to the States, but that was mostly paperwork and random bits and pieces. In terms of clothes, I tend to get stuff to last for a year; that's the way it's been every year I've been away in Australia; there hasn't been a need to buy clothes in Sydney, and considering clothes are pricey out there, I'm grateful for that (you have no idea how grateful I am for Old Navy and their $20 jeans I've been living off of for the past several years). Now that I think about it, that's been a small but consistent testimony of God's provision throughout my life; today, I don't have Old Navy jeans, and that's because of God's providing for my family so that we can be blessed a little more than we've been. My dad's told me stories of how back in Nicaragua having Levi's meant you were super awesome and rich or something like that, and how he always wanted to have them. While I've been home, I've acquired like 5 pairs of Levi's (most of them on sale too #balleronabudget), and... a few of them are slim fit. Now I want to express why this is a big deal for me; you might find this funny and little weird, but trust me, it's a progressive life thing. My entire life my mom has had a tendency to get me clothes that are a bit bigger than I would normally be comfortable in, because she figured I would "grow into them". Thing is, I've only ever had baggy jeans that I never fit into, and it wasn't until Australia that I realized this; after all, it is Sydney's fault that I heard of the concept of skinny jeans to begin with. Now, before you think, "Oh man, Steven's conforming to the ways of society!", I want to stress that these are SLIM fit, which means they're the middle ground between straight leg and skinny; it's very snug, but not to the point where it could potentially cut off circulation to my legs. Just writing this is making me laugh a little; all I know is I'll probably get some witty banter from my college friends when I wear them in public. Anyways, back to packing. Basically all I'm taking is my 2012 clothes and a couple other things, including my PS3. I'm excited for this year, I really am; I'm just not looking forward to SFO's security...

2012: An Empty Canvas

Art's always been a big part of my life. No question about that. For as long as I can remember I found such happiness in putting a pencil to paper and seeing what my imagination would come up with. I don't consider myself a "good" artist, but I consider myself a passionate one. There's just a peace of mine that overtakes me when I draw; well, more like when I drew. To be honest, I don't do much of that anymore. Mainly because of the fact that the convenient resource of papers and pencils/pens aren't around and at my disposal as much as they once were, but also because the drive of my imagination has transformed over the years. Growing up, drawing was really my only way of expressing and exercising my imagination and creativity, but nowadays I do other things. Even the word "artist" has transformed in my world; I don't just see pencil and paper, but now I see pictures, cameras, instruments, CDs, lights, etc. I once considered myself an artist. I once considered myself a musician. Those things are present in my life still, but in a less prominent way. The whole being versatile thing has been the course of my life; it's also turned out to be one of my greatest weaknesses. Sure, I can draw, sing, act, play piano/bass/xylophone/triangle/guitar, film, direct, and whatever else I do, but I can't say I'm completely all about one specific thing. That's what's lead me to this very moment. I was supposed to do two years of study at the Hillsong International Leadership College; I've done exactly that, but now I'm returning for another year. Guess two years wasn't enough for me to get the big picture. But... this could very well be the year. That's why I'm looking at this year as an empty canvas. I am looking at this canvas through the eyes of my inner child, a simple artist. I might not have a lot of expertise and skill with a pencil or brush, but I know someone who was skilled enough to paint the stars, draw out oceans, brush in mountains, and throw in over 7 billion people into this masterpiece called our universe (and sure, maybe there is a galaxy far, far away with more lifeforms celebrating the demise of the Dark Side, but who really knows. Maybe Lucas was on to something...) I am confident in the fact that when I'm unsure of touching my pencil to the canvas, I have the one true artist to guide my hand and help me create something beautiful, something to remember. Something worth living for. There's been a lot of challenges in my journey as a college student, and a couple are still a challenge even as I type. Through it all, it's been one thing that's kept me going: the one true artist. Without Him, I would have been lost a long time ago. So this year, I'm living on purpose. This year, I'm not holding back because of insecurities or past failures. This year, I will realize my full potential, and in His name I will go where He sends me.

To be honest, it feels good to be on this blog of mine again; it's been too long. Here's to hopefully making this a part of my life too (just not every day, because that was borderline stressful on me. I'm very big on continuity.)

- Steven (Psalm 37:4)