Day 273: God, the Solution

Sometimes in life, you find yourself in a situation where you can't really do anything to help yourself. You may think you have the answer, but in the end it only takes you to a place that's worse. I tend to find myself in situations like that a little too often. It makes me realize how much I have yet to grow in my walk with God. I know He has a plan for me, and I know His ways are higher than my ways; it's just that sometimes my ways can miss the mark and throw me WAY off. Fortunately, God's grace is sufficient to keep me going, especially when I mess up. He's been more than good to me, and I want to spend the next few weeks really diving in and seeking more of Him.

God bless,
Steven

Day 272: I Offer Devotion

In Your Freedom, by Hillsong Live:
I search for You God of strength
I bow to You in my brokenness
And no other King could have so humbly come
To save my soul and heal my heart

I have nothing more than all You offer me
There is nothing else that’s of worth to me

And I love You Lord
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You’re all that I need

I pray to You God of peace
I rest in You my cares released

I have nothing more than all You offer me
There is nothing else that’s of worth to me

And I love You Lord
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You’re all that I need

In Your freedom I will live
In Your freedom I will live
I offer devotion, I offer devotion

If there was ever one song that truly lifted my spirit in a hard place, it was this one.

God bless,
Steven

Day 271: Now or Never

This particular Tuesday was interesting. So we had chapel rehearsal, and it was fantastic; mainly because it was what the college calls a "Touching Heaven" chapel, where the primary focus is intimate worship and prayer. Also, the college changed the general call time to 7 (a half hour later than the normal, which is nice of them to do). I worked with TV just to get a better feel of being a leader there. After the rehearsal, I got some time to get ready for the day, eat breakfast, and study SLR cameras, which I have been doing for about 3 weeks now; I've been getting a lot of great input from TV leaders, college student photographers, test videos, reviews, and websites. I would really like to have a seriously good camera for the coming year, so I'm looking into my options. What I realize, especially with SLR cameras, is that at times the camera lenses can be twice as expensive as the camera itself (but I don't think I'll be needing a bunch of lenses right now, so I'll be fine.) Right now, I'm comparing the Nikon D3100 (priced around $700 with an included lens), and the Canon 550D (priced at $800). My conclusion is that they both seem to be very similar; it's all a matter of finding an opportunity to try them both and see which one I'm more comfortable with. Here in Australia, they are way more expensive, so it's either an American purchase or nothing. Moving on with my day, my Personal Evangelism class went well; after next week, Personal Evangelism will be over, and Spirit Filled Living with begin. Pretty excited about that one! The Touching Heaven chapel went great; I got to help put some powerpoint slides together for announcements, which was pretty fun. After that, I only had my musicianship/songwriting class left; 3 hours of playing music and having a blast doing it. It's by far my favorite class; I have such a good time being in a musical team environment. When that class was over, I came home to find my flatmates watching the second season of House (a hospital drama centered around a crazy doctor); now these guys got me hooked; honestly not too sure if that's a good or bad thing... I also got to spend some quality time with Donny over dinner; it's nice to have time where you can just share your thoughts with someone else. As I mentioned yesterday, I am dealing with a decision that I'm finding hard to make, but I took a risk and put it out there in front of the intended person. At this point, only God knows what will become of this choice. I can only pray that it will finish leaving me in one piece.

God bless,
Steven

Day 270: Crunch Time

I realized that I didn't write in my blog before I went to sleep; mainly because I was working on assessments. Thank God I finished them on time. Classes were great as usual, and I got some good advice over a situation I'm heavily praying over. I just hope it goes alright; pray for me.

God bless,
Steven

Day 269: Hearing God

Lately, there's been a lot of things happening around me concerning hearing the voice of God. This is something I've always wanted to develop and master; I've been looking forward to getting to that point in my relationship with God where I could hear Him loud and clear. Today, church seemed to be all about that; Sy Rogers spoke on living in obedience to God's ways, and Robert Fergusson spoke on spiritual guidance and hearing God. I don't find this to be coincidence; in fact I find this to be God at work in me. I've spent many years praying to God for all kinds of things, hoping that I would get a tangible response from Him; as I got older, it became more clear that God just doesn't work that way. God has no physical limitations like I do. God doesn't have a short attention span and lack of clarity like I do. He's God!! His ways are higher than my ways, and that's all that matters. I don't have to be worried about the future. I don't have to try and picture God speaking to me as if He was a physical person sitting next to me. I don't have to limit my view of Him to the extent that I do. Yet I do it anyway. I do it because I'm human; I can't help but worry, imagine, and try to find the answers I don't need. I don't need to know God's system of work; all I need to know is that He knows what He's doing. God is in control in my life, and no matter how many time I stumble along the way, He always has a place in His heart for me; a place that doesn't shrink or lose value every time I mess up. That whole thought convicts me every time; how can God have so much love for me that even when I screw up daily, His love doesn't change? How can I learn from my mistakes and trust Him more and more as I move forward? Why does this relationship have to be so hard to maintain? I ask these questions a lot, and I get the same answer a lot: "Because you're not seeking me hard enough." I feel like God tells me all the time to step it up, to take a stand for my beliefs and build my relationship with Him. The only obstacle? ME. In my spiritual life, I am my enemy; I am my ultimate flaw and weakness. My spirit may want to grow in my God relationship, but because of my humanity, I find it harder and harder the more I try. I don't stay consistent like I should. I don't pray enough in a day. I don't spend as much time with God as I most definitely should. I don't always live up to standards I set for myself a while back. Looking back at it all, I'm a very professional screwup; but regardless of my failures to stay faithful, God remains everything I can't be. He remains faithful, pure, patient, passionate, loyal, encouraging, comforting, trustworthy, and loving every single moment I am not. God is seriously the man. He's just awesome!
This is where you come in. I see myself in a place that's getting harder to survive in with every new day that comes. I see myself desiring so much to grow, but being too lazy to actually get up and make an effort. I see myself truly in need of a God encounter to get me on the straight path again. So all I ask of you, o respectable reader, is for your prayers. I need prayer to get back on track, no matter what it may cost of my flesh. I want God to help me overcome my darkness; this is just one of those things I can't do on my own.

God bless,
Steven

Day 268: Stepping Up To the Tower

So today was absolutely fantastic! Street Teams, like most Saturday mornings, are really what set my Saturday up for a win. So one of the leaders for the Lawson tower (where I serve weekly), Leanne, is on a rest period from Street Teams; frankly she deserved a break because she's such a hard worker. So while she is getting time off, Mel chose me to take Leanne's place in the meantime. As of now, I have led a team twice, and I can proudly say that it was loads of fun. It was another morning of Russian connections, and we did quite a bit of cleaning. I didn't really have much else planned today, so it was a bit unclear at first. However, the rest of my day was hanging out with Josh and having some bonding time over a well placed game of Star Wars Battlefront II (it's good to just sit back and fellowship with these guys when I can; they're almost always doing stuff, so we don't hang out as much) and hanging out with great friends and watching Ridley Scott's version of Robin Hood starring everyone's favorite gladiator, Russell Crowe. I have to admit, I didn't think too much of this movie before, but I will say it was a rather impressive movie. Especially since I'm becoming a film buff, I took notice to how the movie was filmed; I give the movie a full 10 solely based on the cinematography. I just love seeing creative geniuses like Ridley Scott showing these amazing battle scenes in great angles and alternate perspectives. I'm kinda thinking about doing this whole movie cinematography studying a little more often..

God bless,
Steven

Day 267: The Entertainment, That's Me

Today:
A wonderful 6:30 call time; chapel rehearsal was quite the eventful time, because the worship team had to practice without their ear inputs (which lets them hear everyone else in the band). Fortunately it didn't stop us, and we had a great time preparing for chapel later on.
I seriously love Tracey Barrell's Christian Doctrine class; you've heard me say it before, but I just can't stop expressing my love for this class! It's just SO good! We talked about Jesus' humanity and deity, which is an awesome subject if I may add.
Chapel was awesome too; it was around 20 minutes shorter than usual, because our college's vice president extended the prayer for all kinds of needs in the college. It was a powerful, spirit filled time, and we all left inspired to press onward.
After that, it was my songwriting lecture, where we discussed how to deal with the disappointments of songwriting. The whole subject gave us tips on how to deal with the pressures of writing a song, including criticism, doubt, and other irritations; very informative and helpful.
a few hours later, and I was back in church to help with the Wildlife TV crew; unfortunately due to complications with camera 2 (that began just before the Healing Seminar), we can't use that camera anymore until the church figures it out. So instead of that, I did some directing training and brought some energetic atmosphere to the evening. It was a lot of fun, and I hope to continue doing that. A little while back I was dealing with fears of getting exhausted, but now I feel refreshed and have a different mindset about it all. So it's all good now!

God bless,
Steven